Sunday, January 30, 2011

Ready for Beddy

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

 Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful! He likes to take off his diaper and climb way up high on things. Then he's afraid and he can't get down. He makes little squawky noises when he's afraid. I have to help him, you know.

Know what? We're getting ready for beddy. That's 'cuz it's night time and bear cubs need to sleep. First we brush our teeth. It is important to brush and frost  you teeth after every meal. Dr. Greg says, "Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you!" I brush real good with my Ninja toothbrush and my Spiderman toothpaste. I don't want to get cavities. Cavities hurt. Chance is too little to have teeth. James helps him brush his gums.

Then we get to take a bath. Chance and me have purple bubble bath, you know. It's fun to make big purple bubbles in the tub. We have toys in the tub, too. We have a fire truck and some rubber duckies, too. We get to splash and sing songs until we're clean. I have to wash my neck and behind my ears.I don't know how the dirt gets there. James says, "How do you two get so dirty?" Then James dries us off with Terry Towel. We don't have to wear jammies to bed. We get to climb into bed 'bear' naked. That's a pun, you know. I'm five. I know what a pun is. It's a word game.

Before we go to sleep, we say our prayers. I ask God to look after all my friends and buddies. We got lots of friends and buddies. Some of them live in O Canada, our home and native land. Some of them live in Newfoundland and Labrador. Some of them live in British Columbia. We got friends and buddies in the Knighted States, too. We got a lot of friends and buddies for God to look after.  God is really busy, you know. I'm glad he looks after our friends and buddies. It's an important job. I thank God for all the good things He give us--except broccolis and sauerkrauts. They're nasty. I have to hold my nose when I take two bites. I don't know why God made them. When I'm done, I say 'amen.' That's so God knows I finished my prayer. It's polite.

After we say our prayers,  James tucks us into bed. He reads us our bedtime stories. We get two stories every night.  I love bedtime stories, don't  you? James is a good reader, you know. Every night he reads us a chapter in Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories. I like the stories. They help me be a better cub. I think Chance likes the stories, too. Sometimes he falls asleep before the story is finished. That's 'cuz he's just a wee little thing. Chance needs more sleep than I do. Chance makes little snory noises when he's asleep.

Then James reads our other story. It's  The Bible Story book. Uncle Arthur wrote the stories down so James can read them to us. Tonight's story is all about Noah and his ark. I know what an ark is. It's a great big ship for animals to ride in so they don't get wet. When I grow up, I could build an ark, you know. Darryl would give me some wood. James says all the animals went into the ark in pairs except the worms. They came in apples. James sure knows a lot of puns.



 Oh. Wait! The story is finished. Did you hear that? James is whispering, "Good night, my handsome bear cubs. Sleep tight, my Sons of Windsor. Sweet dreams my Princes of Ontario. That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We're going to sleep. I'm s-o-o-o-o-o-o sleepy. James tickles our ears and our kisses our noses. I'm gonna dream about the ark and maybe I'll dream about porridge with gummy worms, too.

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Do good deeds. Be kind to your friends and buddies and neighbours. Then you can hear bedtime stories. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and play in the tub with us! We can hear bedtime stories together! Okay! Over and zzzzzzzzzz!"

Friday, January 28, 2011

Carpenter Bear Cubs

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Grandpa James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

  Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing and shouldn't be hard to look after. Chance climbs way up high on things and can't get down. Then he makes little squawky noises. He makes little squawky noises 'cuz he's afraid. I look after Chance. He's a handful!

Know what? We're helper cubs, today. We're helping Uncle Darryl. He's doing carpenter work. We're cutting wood to make a nice new floor. We use a saw to cut wood. Saws are very sharp, so Uncle Darryl is careful. A saw can hurt. If Chance got cut in two Uncle Darryl says he'd be my half brother! I don't want that! Chance is a handful already. We have to be careful when we use tools. Tools are not something to play with, you know.

Chance isn't really helping 'cuz he's too little but he thinks he's helping. He makes little squeaky noises when he's happy. Can you hear him? He's a happy helper carpenter.

I'm a real helper. My job is to hold the wood so it doesn't wiggle. If it wiggles then the saw can't cut a straight line. Then the wood won't fit and we have to start over.

Oh! I have another job. I hold the dustpan when Grandpa James sweeps the floor. There's lots and lots of sawdust when we cut wood. Sawdust is soft. Chance likes to play in the sawdust. It gets all over him and  he gets it everywhere. He's a messy little cubby when he's all covered with sawdust. He tries to eat sawdust. Bear cubs don't eat wood. It's not in Canada's Food Guide. Chance really is a handful!

 Know what? I could be a carpenter when I grow up. Carpenters make things out of wood. I know where wood comes from.  Wood comes from Home Hardware. That's a store. James says that wood grows on trees. I think he's telling a really tall story. He makes things up, you know. The people who help at Home Hardware are the ones who wear red shirts. They're very nice. They helped get Chance down when he climbed way up on top of the ladder. I had to say, "My son! Come down from there this instant! I could work at Home Hardware, you know.  I could wear a red shirt. I can say, "Saws are in Aisle Four."


Wood is good for making things like floors and tables and doors and chairs and desks. Oh! I could make a whole treehouse! Chance would climb all over it! Oh! Wait! I could make an airplane and fly away way up high. I'd be a pilot. I would take Chance with me. He could be my co-pilot.

 Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? Grandpa James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find Grandpa James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.


 This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Help your buddies and friends. Good citizens are helpful and then they get to eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and help us! We can build things together! Okay! Over and out!"

Monday, January 24, 2011

Pancakes for Breakfast


 Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Grandpa James.  That's in Olde Sandwich Towne. Olde Sandwich Towne is in Windsor. Everybody knows that Windsor is in O Canada.

Grandpa James is really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know. He's so old he remembers the invention of Saran Wrap!

Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. He can't talk. he's so little he doesn't even have any teeth. He just drinks chocolate owls' milk. We get it at Mac's. I look after Chance. He's a handful!

Know what Chance does? He takes off his diaper and climbs way up high on things. Then he can't get down. He makes little squawky noises 'cuz he's afraid.  I always say, "My son! Come down from there this instant!" Then I have to help him.

Know what we do? We help Grandpa James cook. He says we're ministers in the Kitchen Cabinet.  He says I'm the Mini-stir of Cooking. Chance is the Deputy Mini-stir of Cooking. We get to make yummy food and then we get to eat it! I l-o-v-e to cook. Maybe I will be a chef when I grow up. A chef wouldn't ever be hungry like those starving children in Belgium, you know.















Before we cook, we look in the Canadian Living Vegetarian cookbook for the right recipe. I know what a recipe is. It's the rules for cooking food. A recipe tells us how to make our favourite foods. I have lots of favourite foods. I l-o-v-e to cook porridge. I l-o-v-e to cook peanut butter and licorice sandwiches, too.
















Know what else? I l-o-v-e Smarties. Oh, wait! We don't have to cook Smarties. They come in a box. It's the bestest chocolate ever! We buy Smarties at Mac's Milk around the corner from our house. I know the Smarties rule. We have to eat the red ones last, 'cuz that's what the Smarties song says to do!

Chance and me are looking for a very special recipe. We want to eat pancakes with peanut butter and maple syrup on top. Before we can eat them, we have to make them, you know. They don't make themselves!

Grandpa James calls them flapjacks. They have two names.  It doesn't matter which name you call them, they taste yummy just the same and yummy is one of the four food groups in Canada's Food Guide, you know.

This is how we make pancakes. First Grandpa James gets down the big bowl. It's way up high on the shelf. We're not supposed to climb up there 'cuz we might fall off the counter top and get hurt.  If we climb up there, we have to sit on the Time Out Chair and think about what we did.

We measure a cup of all-purpose flour and a cup of whole wheat flour and pour them in the bowl. I know how much a cup is. It's 250 millilitres. It says so on the side of the measuring cup. Miss Jackie taught me that. She's my teacher at the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre. Then we add a 15 mls of sugar. Then we measure out 7.5 mls of baking powder. After that we put in five mls of Cow Brand. That's baking soda. Baking soda comes from cows, you know.


We stir everything up really really good. I'm very good at stirring. Chance thinks he's helping but he's not. He's too newborn. He just gets flour all over himself but he's happy and having fun. He makes little squeaky noises when he's having a good time. Look at him! He's hiding in the crisper drawer in the fridge! Come out of there this instant! That's not a good place to hide, my son!

Next we put 500 mls of buttermilk in another bowl. Then we pour in 30 mls of canola oil and two eggs. We mix that up real good. Then we pour the liquid on the flour and stir that up, too. That's a lot of stirring, you know!


Then Grandpa James brings out the frying pan. It's black. That's because it's made out of cast iron. James says it belonged to his great grandmother and it's more than 100 years old. That must be really old! I bet Grandpa James is older than that.  When the frying pan is hot James pours oil into it. That's so the pancakes don't stick. Then he pours in the batter. I know what batter is. It's newborn baby pancakes.

When the pancakes have little bubbles on top and they're golden brown on the bottom, Grandpa James turns the flapjacks over with the pancake lifter so they can cook on the other side. He's really good at flipping them up in the air and catching them. He says flipping flapjacks should be an Olympic sport.




When the pancakes are ready, we put peanut butter on them. I make smiley faces. Then we pour maple syrup on them. I I l-o-v-e peanut butter, don't you? Sometimes Grandpa James put Smarties in our pancakes. Sometimes he puts pieces of apple. I like apple smiley pancakes.




Before we eat, we say grace. I say, "Thank you God for all the yummy food you make, especially pancakes and maple syrup and butter and peanut butter. I will eat them all up God, 'cuz I'm as hungry as a bear. PS God, please send lots and lots of pancakes to all the starving children in Belgium, okay? Thank you, God. Amen." Amen means the end. I say 'Amen' so God knows I'm done talking to Him. It's what polite bear cubs do.

Then Grandpa James says, 'bon apetit' and we eat the pancakes. I know what 'bon apetit' means. It means, 'Enjoy your food.' It's French. Oh! Sometimes we have French toast. That's another yummy breakfast.















Chance doesn't have any teeth. He just drinks chocolate owls' milk out of his bottle. He licks the syrup off my pancakes and then he is all sticky. Good thing we have a bathtub!

Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? Grandpa James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario!

We gotta go find Grandpa James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

 This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Do good deeds. Be kind to your friends and neighbours. Help make breakfast.  Then you can eat pancakes with great big gobs of peanut butter and lots and lots  of maple syrup on top.

Oh! Wait! Come over to our house! We can make pancakes together and we can put peanut butter and maple syrup all over them! Okay! Over and out!"

Friday, January 7, 2011

Let it Snow!

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. He doesn't even have teeth or a tail, yet. He takes off his diaper and climbs way up high on things. Then he can't get down. I  say, "My son! Come down from there this instant! Then he makes little squawky noises 'cuz he's scared. I have to get him down. look after Chance. He really is a handful!

Know what? It's snowing today. I l-o-v-e snow. It's fun to play in the snow. Snow is our friend. We put on our toques and I put on my Cat-in-the-Hat sox. Chance and me make great big snow mountains. Then we slide down to the bottom.

When Chance gets tired, I carry him to the top. I say, "Chance! Wanna ride piggy back? I say that even though we're bears, not pigs. Chance makes a little squeaky noise. That means he's happy. Chance l-o-v-e-s to ride piggy back 'cuz he gets to ride way up high. Sometimes  we make snowballs and have snowball fights.


Know what else? Sometimes make snow persons. Making snow persons is a big job but I'm a big bear cub. I'm five, you know. I can do the job. Chance thinks he's helping but he's not. He's too little to help but he has fun. It's my job to teach him 'cuz I'm the big brother, you know.

Here's now to make a snow person. Ready? Roll snow into a really big ball. Then roll another one and ask James to help you put it on top of the first one. Then you roll a littler ball for the head. James can help you lift it up. Then you put buttons for eyes, a carrot for the nose and buttons for the smile. You can give your snow person a scarf and a toque, too! After that you can sing Frosty the Snow Person. It's a good song to sing after you make a snow person.

Chance tries to eat the snow. He's so little he doesn't know he's not supposed to eat snow. Snow is not in Canada's Food Guide, you know. It's not one of the four food groups. Snow will make him sick, I'm sure.

Oh. Know what? Don't take snow to bed with you. Snow doesn't like being inside. It disappears and makes your Bob the Easter Moose sheets all wet. That's yucky.

When it's time to go inside James rubs us down with Terry Towel until we're nice and dry. We always say, "Hi, Terry Towel!"  We warm up in front of the fireplace. James always makes us hot cocoa with newborn baby marshmallows. Cocoa with newborn marshmallows is the very best part of playing in the snow.

I drink my cocoa out of my special Frosty the Snow Person mug. I have to use both paws to hold the mug 'cuz I don't have thumbs. Chance is a wee little thing. He drinks cocoa out of his bottle.

 Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

 This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Be kind to friends and neighbours. Go outside and play in the newborn snow.  Then you can warm up with us and drink cocoa.  Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and play with us! We can make snow persons and sing and drink cocoa together! Okay! Over and out!"

Monday, January 3, 2011

The Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. We adopted him. He's my little brother, now. I call him cubby. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what? This is me with Miss Jackie. She's my teacher at the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre. Miss Jackie is beautiful. Wanna know a secret? Come really close and I'll whisper it in your ear. I think Miss Jackie is a princess. Miss Jackie is kind. She's very smart, too. She teaches us lots of things. She taught me to paint. I can paint and stay inside the lines. That's hard for bear cubs 'cuz we don't have thumbs, you know.

Chance and me like to paint pictures of ourselves. We paint pictures of the things we do everyday, like playing hockey and making bubbles in the bathtub at bathtub. We make pictures of us mailing letters to our friends and buddies. We're pretty busy bear cubs. We're busy all day long. On rainy days, James brings out the paints so we can have indoor fun. It's fun to paint pictures. The paint goes on the canvas. We don't paint each other. Sometimes Chance tries to eat the paint 'cuz it's pretty. We can't eat paint. Paint isn't in Canada's Food Guide. Paint is for pictures. We have an exhibition of our paintings at a store on Sandwich Street. You can see them. They're at the store called 1976. It's at 3214 Sandwich Street. Nick and Aveline own the store. They're very nice grownups. They are kind to bear cubs and sometimes give us Smarties to eat.

Chance and me are artists, you know. I could be an artist when I grow up. James says most artists are starving. I know there are lots of starving children in Belgium. I wonder if they're artists?  I wouldn't like to starve. I like to eat. Growing bear cubs need to eat. My favouritest foods are Smarties, porridge, peanut butter and licorice sandwiches. Oh, wait! I like to drink root beer. When it'd cold outside I like to drink hot cocoa with newborn baby marshmallows in it. Marshmallows float.

 Here's a painting we made. Know what we're doing? Chance and me are brushing and frosting our teeth before we go to bed. Chance is so tiny he sits on top of the sink. I'm pretty tall. I stand on my stool. Chance doesn't have any teeth yet, but he  brushes his gums.

We have Ninja toothbrushes and Spiderman toothpaste. Know what happens if we don't brush and frost? We get holes in our teeth. That's not good. Then we have to go visit Dr. Greg. he's a dentist. Dr. Greg is nice. He's a tooth doctor, you know. Dr. Greg says, "Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you!"

Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.


This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Have fun every day. Learn to paint pictures of the things you do. Then you can remember all the fun. Oh! Wait! Take care of your teeth. Brush and frost every day. Then you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Come over to the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre and play with us! You can meet Miss Jackie. We can have fun together! Okay! Over and out!"

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance. He takes off his diaper and climbs way high on things and then he can't get down. James says we have to watch him like a hawk. That's silly. We're not hawks. We're bear cubs! Chance is a real handful!

I know what today is. It's Happy New Year Day. That's the first day of the newborn year. James says it's 2011 everywhere except Ethiopia. It's 2002 in Ethiopia. That was a long time ago. Ethiopia is pretty far away, you know. We can't even go there on the train. Sometimes we go to Marathon House. That's downtown. They have Ethiopian food. I l-o-v-e Ethiopian food.

We watched the fireworks. Fireworks make a lot of noise. They're pretty. I wish we could eat fireworks. I bet they taste yummy. That's one of the four food groups, you know. Yummy, sweet, sticky and nasty. That's the four food groups. I can't find fireworks in Canada's Food Guide. Fireworks are how we know that Happy New Year Day is here.

I'm sitting at my desk. I'm thinking. Thinking is hard, you know. I'm thinking about my Happy New Year's Day list. I'm writing down all the things I will do this year to be a good citizen. Good citizens get to eat Smarties and drink root beer. Know what? Bear cubs in Quebec don't drink root beer. They drink cream soda instead.

1. Pick up my toys so James doesn't fall down again.
2. Don't bite Chance.
3. Eat brocollis and sauerkrauts without holding my nose.
4. Stay off the Time Out Chair.

That's a lot of things to remember!


 Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

 This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Be kind to your friends and neighbours. Do good deeds. Then you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and play with us! We can have Happy New Year's Day together! Okay! Over and out!"