Happy Birthday to Juanita

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's forgetful and really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.  I have to look after him. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what? Today is our buddy Juanita's birthday. She lives in St. John's. That's in Newfoundland. I know where Newfoundland is. It's in O Canada, our home and native land.  O Canada has ten provinces. I know their names. Miss Jackie taught me geography at the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre. Ready? British California, Albearta,  Skratchyouone, Mana-something, Toronto, Maple Syrup and the Canadiens, McCain's French Fries, Anne of Green Gables' house, Fishy Blue Noses and then there is Newfoundland and Labador.

Labador is a puppy. I wish we had a puppy. I would teach him to roll over and sit up and beg. I know! We can give a Labador puppy to Juanita. Yeah! That's a good present! Oh, wait! Labador puppies come in different colours. I don't know what Juanita's favourite colour is. I know! We'll get her a striped Labador puppy! I'll ask James if we can go to Canadian Tire. I got $8.67 in Canadian Tire money. Chance has $3.03 in Canadian Tire money. That's enough for a puppy! We can get Juanita a striped Labador puppy and put it in the mail today! I think puppies eat porridge with gummy worms. We can put porridge in this blue box with the puppy and mail the puppy to Juanita!

Okay! I gotta go! We got a lot of work to do if we're going to send Juanita a puppy. Happy Birthday, Juanita. Happy Birthday to you! Watch Canada Post for your puppy! This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens! Eat all your vegetables so you can have birthday cake. Starving children in Belgium would love to eat your vegetables and birthday cake! Over and out!"

Fast Food

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Special Ed James. He rides to school on a short bus, so I have to look after him. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing.

Know what? We're at Wendy's. Special Ed James says it's a fast food joint. He's silly. The food isn't fast. It isn't even slow. The food isn't moving at all! I am eating a baked potato. I know where potatoes come from. They come from Prince Edward Island. Anne of Green Gables is in charge of growing baked potatoes. I l-o-v-e baked potatoes. They're yummy and that is one of the four food groups in the Canada Food Guide. Chance can't eat potatoes. He's so little he doesn't have teeth yet. He can't talk. He makes squeaky noises when he's happy and squawky noises when he's upset or has to poo. Chance doesn't even have a tail! He drinks condensed owls' milk from his bottle. I don't know where Chance disappeared to. I have to watch him so he doesn't get hurt. He's a handful, you know.

Did you hear that? Special Ed James is hollering, "Where's my handsome bear cubs?" That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs! I'll find Chance and Special Ed James will tickle our ears and kiss our noses and give us great big hugs. This is Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Eat your baked potatoes--even the skin. Starving children in Belgium would be happy to eat baked potatoes. Over and out!"