Sunday

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

 Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful! 

Know what? Chance and me are sitting in the summer sun. That's a good thing to do on a Sunday. The flowers smell nice. Chance is trying to eat them. We don't eat flowers. They're not even in the Canada Food Guide! He'll know better when he's five, like me.

Olde Sandwich Towne has brand new bicycle hitching posts. We watched the workmen put them up on Sandwich Street. I can lock up my blue bike on one and it will be there when I come back.

Some people steal bicycles. They aren't good citizens, you know. Good citizens don't take things that don't belong to them. Know what else? Chance and me can climb up on top of a hitching post. We can see really far when we're way up high. That's a fun thing to do.

Today we're gonna go on a lion hunt in the back yard. We got space ray guns from the Mill Dollar Store. Hunting for lions is fun. We say,

Goin' on a lion hunt,
One, two three.
Goin' on a lion hunt,
Can't catch me!

Then we sneak up quietly on any lions that are in the back yard and catch them. Chance gets excited when we hunt for lions. Chance makes little squeaky noises 'cuz he's happy. The lions can hear him and they run away.

Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed. 

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens.  Lock up your bicycle so bad people won't steal them. Remember to hunt for lions and eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! If you don't have any lions in your back yard, come over to our house and play with us!  Okay! Over and out!"

The War of 1812

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know. He's so old he remembers the War of 1812. That's really old.

Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful! 

Know what? We're playing Soldier. That's a good game. We're helping General Brock and Tecumseh win the War of 1812 . Chance and me are pretty good soldiers. We don't have muskets like the other soldiers. We have space ray guns we got at the Mill Dollar Store. When we march, we march like this--

Left, left, left, right, left.
Left, left, left, right, left.
Left my wife with fifteen kids,
Gonna find who's right, by jingo!
Right, right, right from the country, right.




Soldiers have a very important job, you know. Our job is to stand on guard for thee. That means we're on the lookout for Americans. They're from the Knighted States. They are our next door neighbours but they came to Canada and they didn't even knock at the door. That's not nice. Good citizens don't invade their neighbours.

When we catch us an American soldier we will make him sit on the Time Out Chair and think about what he did. He won't like thinking. It's hard to think.

Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed. 

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Stand on guard for Canada. Stand on guard for the King and the Empire, too! When you get hungry, you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and play Soldier and War of 1812 with us! We can hunt for American soldiers together! Okay! Over and out!"

Easter!

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know. I help him remember. He forgot it was Easter! Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what? We're sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap. I asked the Easter Bunny if I could have thumbs so I can hold my sippy cup in one paw instead of two. I asked the Easter Bunny if Chance could have teeth so he can eat Smarties with me.

I know the Easter story. It's in the Bible. Jesus is the Son of God. He died on a cross so we could be forgiven for the bad things we did. That's terrible. That's even worse than when I have to sit on the Time Out Chair. Jesus was very brave. He died on Friday and slept all day on Sabbath. Jesus woke up on Sunday morning 'cuz he had to go back to work.

We're going to go on an Easter egg hunt with Lulu and Ella. They're our buddies. They came to our house for Easter. We're gonna take our space ray guns we got from the dollar store to help us find the eggs.

Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed. Then we can go outside and hunt for Easter eggs.

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Hoppy Easter every bunny!"

Brunch at Rock Bottom

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know. I help him remember. This morning he forgot this is Good Friday! Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what? Chance and me are at Rock Bottom. That's a pub on Sandwich Street. They have brunch on weekends. I know what brunch is. It's breakfast mixed with lunch. Brunch is yummy but it's not in the Canada Food Guide. We get to eat scrambled eggs and hash brown potatoes. We get to drink orange juice. Sometimes the nice lady gives us wallermelon but she didn't have any today.  Chance doesn't have any teeth, yet. He's really tiny. He only drinks condensed owls' milk from a bottle.

Darryl and Alexandria are here with us. They're our buddies. When we're finished brunch we can all go outside and play. We can swing in the park. That's fun. Oh! We could take our space ray guns and go on a lion hunt! 

Did you hear that? Darryl is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find Darryl so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed and we can play in the park!

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens.Good citizens get to eat at Rock Bottom and go on lion hunts. Okay! We gotta go! Over and out!"

Meeting a Mountie

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's old and can't remember things like where he put the remote control for the TV, so I have to look after him. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing.

Know what? Chance and me are at the tourist centre. It's a nice place. The lady let us have our picture taken with a Mountie. James says he's a cardboard constable. I know what Mounties do. They serve and protect. See! He's serving and protecting right now. Oh, no! Chance has climbed up on the Horseman's shoulder. "My son! Come down from there this instant!"  I have to watch Chance all the time. He's a real handful.

I know what else Mounties do. They stand on guard for thee. I could be an RCMP officer when I grow up, you know. I would stand on guard for thee. I don't know who 'thee' is but James will know. He knows lots of things. Kids and cubs would get their pictures taken with me. I would use my space ray gun to arrest bad people and make them sit on the Time Out Chair so they can think about what they did.

I hear James hollering, "Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? Where are my handsome bear cubs?" That's me, Charles! I'm a Son of Windsor. I'm a Prince of Ontario. I'm a handsome bear cub. So is Chance! We gotta go, now. We're gonna go outside and climb a snow mountain. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens! Be nice to the Mounties. Good citizens get to eat Smarties and drink root beer and play Space Invaders. Over and out!"

The Big Train Trip

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy,  James. He is old and forgetful. He loses things, too. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark.  I have to look after him. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after him, too.

Know what? We're going on a trip. We're going to Toronto on the train. We're helping James pack. I put peanut butter and Smarties in the suitcase. Don't tell anybody but I took out the brocollis. They're nasty and I hate them. I put in my space ray gun. I sure hope there are lions in Toronto. I want to go on a lion hunt and catch a lion. That would be fun. We got headphones so we can watch movies on the train. We can watch Gumby and Pokey on the train. We can buy pop on the train. I l-o-v-e root beer. Okay. I'm helping buy our tickets.  James is hollering, "Where's my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario?" That's us, Charles and Chance. We'd better go find him so he can tickle our ears and make us laugh right out load. We'll be home on Saturday so, 'til then, this is me Charles the Bear Cub saying, "All aboard! Over and out!"

My Dream About a Lion Hunt

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's old and forgetful. This morning he forgot my name!   I have to look after him. Oh.Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I have to look after him, too.

Chance is really little. He doesn't have any teeth and he can't talk. He doesn't even have a tail, yet!
I have a tail. I'm five, you know. Chance drinks condensed owls' milk out of a bottle. I don't need a bottle. I have a sippy cup with Spiderman on it.

Know what? Last night after we had our bedtime story, said our prayers and went to sleep I had a dream. I dreamt I was hunting lions in the living room. I l-o-v-e to hunt for lions. It's the funnest game. Every time I would sneak up on the lion and get ready to catch him, guess what? There wasn't any lion, it was Chance. That was my dream. Today we can go outside and play lion hunt. We can hide in the cedar hedge and pretend that cats and squirrels are lions. Yeah. That's a good idea. Lion Hunt! Chance will have to be very quiet. He makes little squeaky noises when he's happy and excited. Then the lions will run and hide. Okay. I gotta go get my safari helmet and my space ray gun. I'm gonna catch a zillion lions! Be good citizens and catch lots of lions today. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying,

Goin' on a lion hunt
One, two, three!'
Goin' on a lion hunt,
Can't catch me!

Over and out!"