Play Me, I'm Yours!

Charles and Chance with Sebastian in front of Union Station in T.O.

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road in Olde Sandwich Towne with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

 Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. Chance is so newborn he doesn't even have a tail or any teeth! He just drinks chocolate owls' milk. We get it at Mac's. I look after Chance. He's a handful!

I'm five, you know. I go to the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre on Sandwich Street.

Know what? Sometimes we go to Tranna. We ride on VIA Rail to get there.  It's pretty far from our house. The train stops at Union Station. That's under the CN Tower, you know. When we got off the train, there was a pretty blue piano on Front Street right in front of Union Station.

Play Me, I'm Yours

 Sebastian  plays the blue piano. He knows lots of songs. He lets Chance and me sit on top and listen to him play. He's pretty good you know. Lots of people come to listen. I'll tell you a secret. I think Sebastian is a prince.

Sebastian is a very good piano player. I bet he knows all my favourites.

Sebastian lets me and Chance play the piano with him. Sebastian has an important job. When he plays music, people feel good. I could be a pianist when I grow up. Music makes everyone happy.

 Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Be kind to friends and neighbours. Then you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and play with us! We can go to Union Station and play the piano with our buddy Sebastian! Okay! Over and out!"

Waiting for Happy New Year

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. He doesn't even have any teeth or a tail! He just drinks chocolate owls' milk. We get chocolate owls' milk at Mac's. He takes off his diaper and climbs way high on things. Then he can't get down. I have to help him get down. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what? Happy New Year is coming! We're waiting for Happy New Year. We get to wear Happy New Year hats and blow noisemakers. Chance's hat is too big. He climbed inside of it. When the clock strikes twelve it will be Happy New Year. James says the new year is 2012. That's a really big number. I can't count that high--yet. I will be able to count higher, soon 'cuz I go to the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre on Sandwich Street. Oh! Wait! It will only be 359 days until Merry Christmas comes to our house.

We gotta make Happy New Year's resolutions. I know what a resolution is. It's a promise to do better. I promise to share my Smarties. I promise to use my inside voice when we play indoors. I promise to play nice. That's a lot of resolutions!

Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

 This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Happy New Year!" Then you can share your Smarties and share your root beer, too. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and play with us! We can have Happy New Year together! Okay! Over and out!"

If I Had a Million Dollars

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know. He forgets where he puts his money. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what? Chance and me found some money! We gave it to the Constable who came to our house on Sparkle Road. He says we're good citizens 'cuz we turned it in. He says we can keep it if no one  asks for it. Wow! I think it's a lot of money. There must be a million dollars! If we get to keep it, I want to give some to poor people who don't get to drink root beer. I'd give some to James and I'd give some to you, too! I know a song!

If I Had a Million Dollars

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house) If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) I'd buy you furniture for your house (Maybe a nice Chesterfield or an ottoman) If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice Reliant automobile) If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love.
If I had a million dollars I'd build a tree fort in our yard If I had a million dollars You could help, it wouldn't be that hard If I had a million dollars Maybe we could put a refrigerator in there Wouldn't that be fabulous If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel) If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) I'd buy you an exotic pet (like a llama or an emu) If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (All them crazy elephant bones) If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love.

I know who's face is on the 20-dollar bill. That's Queen Elizabeth. She's the boss of almost everybody except the Knighted States. I know who's on the  50-dollar bill, too. That's Prime Minister Pearson. Miss Jackie taught us that at the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre. James says the PM was a spy in the war. I could be be a spy! I'm good at sneaking up on lions, you know. I'm very quiet.

Chance tries to eat money. I have to say, "My son, take that out of your mouth this minute!" Money isn't good to eat, you know. He really is a handful!

Chance and me will go to Mac's Milk and Miss Wendy and Sam and Ricky and Diane can help us get a whole lot of Smarties and pineapple licorice. They're yummy and that's one of the food groups in the Canada Food Guide.

Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. If you find money, give it to the Constable.  Somebody might want their money. Okay! Over and out!"

Transit Windsor

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know. I help him remember. This morning he forgot my name! Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what? We're resting. That's 'cuz we're tired. James says we're too pooped to pop. We played all day. We dug holes in the back yard and planted Smarties. When they grow we will have a Smarties tree! We rode our bikes up and down Sandwich Street and made siren sounds. We cooked lunch. We made peanut butter and licorice sandwiches on the barbecue. They're yummy and yummy is one of the four food groups in the Canada Food Guide. Then we got gummy worms from Wendy at Mac's Milk.  We ate them while we rode on the bus until we got to Jackson Park. We played some more. Now we're home and we're going to have dinner. It smells good in the kitchen. It smells like Untidy Josephs. I think we're having root beer, too. I sure hope so! I l-o-v-e root beer.


Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome and hungry bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome and hungry bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Play outside in the sunshine. Plant Smarties so you can grow a Smarties tree. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house for dinner! We can drink root beer together! Okay! Over and out!"

My Blue Bike

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's forgetful and really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know. I have to help him remember where he puts things. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what? Chance and me are looking at my blue bike. It has a Canada flag on it. Today we get to bring it outside 'cuz spring is here! I can ride real fast on my bike. Elmer the Safety Elephant says we should wear helmets for protection. He's my friend. I wear a helmet so I don't hurt my head if I fall. Chance is too little ride a bike, so he rides with me. We have to get a helmet at Canadian Tire for a newborn cubby, you know. Chance might fall off and hurt himself. I l-o-v-e my blue bike. James has a green bike with a Canada flag on it. We ride up and down Sandwich Street and make siren noises. We ride over to Mac's Milk and get gummy worms and Smarties. That's fun!


Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Who wants to go for a bicycle ride? Where's my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario?" That's me! That's Chance, too! Okay. We gotta go now. We're gonna go outside and ride up and down Sandwich Street. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Ride your bikes! Over and out!"

Wet Floor

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy James. He is very forgetful and pretty old. He says he was the second Canadian to get off of Noah's Ark. I have to look after him. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing.

See the sign? It says Wet Floor and Plancher Mouille. We have to be careful when we see that sign. I don't want to fall down and get hurt. I know! We can slide all over the wet floor and play hockey. Chance thinks he's hiding from me but he's not. I can see all of him. Know what? When Chance closes his eyes, he thinks he's invisible. He's a very silly little cubby. When he is five, he'll know better.

I hear Special Ed James hollering, "Where's my handsome bear cubs?" That's us! Charles and Chance. We gotta go find him so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed. I sure hope we go to Mac's Milk to get some gummy worms. I l-o-v-e gummy worms. I hold them way up in the air and I say, "Look out gummy worms! I'm gonna eat you a-l-l up!" This is Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Don't fall on wet floors. Eat all your gummy worms. Starving children in Belgium would love to have gummy worms to eat. Over and out!"

Chocolate Milk

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He is forgetful and really old, like 20. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark.  I have to look after him. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing.

Know what? We l-o-v-e chocolate milk. I know where chocolate milk comes from. It comes from chocolate cows. The cows put their milk in jugs and then they load the jugs onto a truck. A big transport truck brings all the chocolate milk to Mac's Milk and we buy it from Miss Wendy and Ricky and Sam. They sell whole milk, too. Whole milk comes from whole cows. They got half-and-half milk. That comes from half cows. I don't know what the other half is. Oh! Wait! Maybe it's from owls.  Chance doesn't have any teeth. He only drinks condensed owls' milk. I know where that comes from. It comes from condensed owls.

Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where's my handsome bear cubs? Come here you sons of Windsor! Come here my Princes of Ontario!" That's us! Charles and Chance. We're gonna go find him so he can tickle our ears and tummies. Maybe we can have some chocolate milk before we go outside to play! This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Take your empty milk jugs to the store. Wendy will give you a quarter for every one you bring. Okay, we gotta go! Over and out!"

Counting

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's old and forgetful. Today he lost his marbles. I found them. They were in the fridge!   I have to look after him. Oh.Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing.

Know what? Chance doesn't have any teeth and he can't talk. He doesn't even have a tail, yet! I have a tail. I'm five, you know. Chance drinks condensed owls' milk out of a bottle. I don't need a bottle. I have a sippy cup with Spiderman on it. I like Spiderman, don't you?

Know what I'm doing? I'm counting up all my money. I keep all my coins in my red Canada Post piggy bank and when it's full we go to Speedy Money and trade all the pennies and nickels and dimes and quarters and loonies and toonies for paper money. Chance tries to help but he's too little to count. Besides, he eats the coins. He ate $4.67 before I could stop him!

James says we'll get the money back, we just have to wait for Chance to have a good poo. He says that there's no danger of Chance being copper deficient. I don't know what that means but I'm not looking through a diaper full of poo. That's nasty! Chance makes little squawky noises when he's hungry or his diaper is full. Then he's stinky and needs a bath. Chance shouldn't eat money! Money isn't a food group and it's not in the Canada Food Guide! When we're done here we're gonna go to Mac's Milk and say 'Hi' to Wendy and Ricky and Ruth and Sam. We can get gummy worms and Smarties. Maybe James will eat some, too. It's okay to eat gummy worms and Smarties. I know how to share 'cuz I'm a good citizen. Gotta go! This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, 'Over and out!'

Happy St. Sandwich Day!

Hi. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub. I live with on Sparkle Road with my buddy,  James.

Know what? This weekend is the Olde Sandwich Towne Festival. There's  balloons, and music and good food and face painting and I l-o-v-e the Bouncy Castle! I jumped up and down until I throwed up. Then I jumped some more!

See what I'm doing? I'm pretending I have a baby brother and he's helping me pick out ice cream at Mac's Milk. Can you see my pretend baby brother?

Wendy, the nice lady who owns the store helps me choose. She gave me a chocolate bar, too. I l-o-v-e chocolate bars. James and me ride up and down the street on our bicycles and holler, "Happy St. Sandwich Day!" to everyone. Festivals are fun. We should have festivals every day.

Okay. I gotta go.  James is hollering, "Who's a handsome bear cub? Who's a Son of Windsor? Who's a Prince of Ontario?" That's me, Charles! I will run find James and he'll tickle my ears and kiss my nose and make me laugh right out loud.

I hope we eat wallermelons today. I l-o-v-e wallermelon. Know what? If I had a baby brother, I'd take him to the festival with us. I have $8.53 in Canadian Tire money. That's a lot of money. I bet I could buy a baby brother. James just laughs at me when I tell him I want a baby brother. He says, "Fat chance, Charles. You're a handful." A handful of what? I don't know. Okay. Happy St. Sandwich Day, everybody.  Be good citizens. Come to the festival! This is me, Charles, saying 'over and out!"

Chocolate Milk

Boo! Did I surprise you? I hope so. I'm Charles the Bear Cub.  You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with James. He's my buddy. I look after him cuz he's old and forgetful. He says, "Charles, you're as busy as a beaver." Now you know why I have to look after him. I'm not a beaver. I'm a bear cub.

I'm five. My birthday is on Canada Day. Know what? I'm hanging out in the fridge at Mac's Milk. I like to surprise people. When they open the door to get milk, I holler, "Boo!" and hand them the milk.

That makes me a helper and helpers are good citizens, you know. I get to drink chocolate milk and eat Smarties, too. Oh! Wait. Did you hear that?  James is hollering, "Who's a handsome bear cub? Who's a Son of Windsor? Who's a Prince of Ontario?"

That's me! Charles. I'm gonna get out of here and go get my ears tickled. I l-o-v-e having my ears tickled. I can laugh right out loud and chocolate milk comes out my nose. I sure hope there's someone special to tickle your ears today! Bye for now. Be good citizens. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Over and out!"

The Fountain

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy,  James. I look after him cuz he's forgetful and really old. He must be 20 'cuz he says he was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark.

Look up here! I climbed up  on the fountain. The fountain is in front of the Post Office in Olde Sandwich Towne. I l-o-v-e to climb. There's no water in the fountain this summer. That's too bad 'cuz I like to watch the water.

Know what? I can see everything from here. I can see the Canada flag.   If bear cubs had pockets I'd keep things in there. I would watch everybody and eat all the Smarties in my pocket. I would eat the red ones last. It's a rule.  Bear cubs don't have pockets. Maybe I will grow some when I'm older. I'm five, you know. My birthday is on  Canada Day. When I'm older I am sure I can climb even higher.

When I was a little cubby I couldn't climb very high.  James says I used to crawl on the floor and look for trouble. I don't know who trouble is. Okay. I gotta go. I gotta get me some gummy worms at Mac's Milk. Wait. I know. If you come with me, you can get some, too! This is Charles the Bear Cub saying, Be good citizens.  Bye for now!"

Ricky, Guard of the Gummy Worms

Hi. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. I look after him 'cuz he's old and forgetful. Today he forgot where he put the gummy worms!

This is me with my buddy Ricky. He's a cashier. Know what that is? He guards the gummy worms at Mac's Milk. He takes our money when we buy gummy worms. Oh. Ricky guards the chocolate milk, too. He has a very important job.

If I don't give him money and leave with my gummy worms, that's stealing. Stealing is something bad citizens do. Bad citizens get handcuffed and paw printed and get their mug shots taken. My buddy, James says bad citizens get locked up in Her Majesty's Royal Canadian hoosegow. They don't get root beer. They don't get to play Space Invaders.

I'm a good citizen. Know what? I bet I could be a cashier when I grow up. I can already say, "Please provide photo ID" and "Will there be anything else, love?" Ricky says I need to learn to tell time and count money. Okay. I will do that but not right now cuz I hear  James hollering, "Who's a handsome bear cub? Who's a Son of Windsor? Who's a Prince of Ontario?"  That's me! Charles. I'm gonna run and get my ears tickled! I love having my ears tickled, don't you?" This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, Be good citizens. Pay for things at the store. Don't steal! Bye for now!"

Climbing on Cars

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy James.  I look after him 'cuz he's forgetful and really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark. He remembers the invention of the rainbow!

Look at me! I'm way up here on top of the car! It's fun to climb way up high. I can see everything from here. I wish I could see tomorrow but I don't know where to look. I know. If I stay up here all night, then I can see tomorrow. Oh. Then it wouldn't be tomorrow. It would be today. Then maybe I can find yesterday.

Know what? Thinking is hard work. It makes me hungry. I'm gonna find  James and see if we can get on our blue bikes and go to Mac's Milk and get some Smarties. Yeah! Good idea. Okay! I gotta go! Bye for now. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Climb way up high so you can see tomorrow! Over and out!"