Sunday, June 9, 2013

Chance Learns to Poo



Frankie, Chance and me check out the Fisher Price potty chair. Chance will learn to poo.
Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I'm five. I go to the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre on Sandwich Street. That's in Windsor. Windsor is in O Canada. After school I go home. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Grandpa James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful! He takes off his diaper and climbs way high on things and can't get down. I have to say, "My son! Come down from there this instant!" Chance makes little squawky noises 'cuz he's afraid. I have to help him get down.

Bathroom tissue is a good friend!
 Oh. Wait! Frankie lives with us, too! Frankie is our cousin. He's four. We Facebook with Her Majesty. She knighted Frankie. He's the Knight of Knewfoundland and the Lord of Labrador, you know.

Chance won't wear his diaper. He takes it off. Grandpa James says it's time for Chance to learn to poo the potty if he won't wear his diaper. I know how to use the potty. Frankie knows how to poo in  the potty.

Oh, no! Chance! That's not how you sit on the potty chair! Chance is so newborn he doesn't know how to use it!
We all climbed up into the attic. We found my Fisher Price potty chair. I learned how to use it a long time ago when I was a wee little cub. Grandpa James says I didn't like to wear my diaper at all. He says I used to take it off all the time. I don't remember that. Sometimes Grandpa James makes up stories.

I show Chance how to sit on the potty chair.
Did you hear that? Grandpa James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! Grandpa James is hollering, "Where's Frankie? Where's my Knight of Knewfoundland and my Lord of Labrador?" That's Frankie! He's our Knight of Knewfoundland and our Lord of Labrador.

Chance is being silly. He can't poo upside down!
We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Be kind to friends and neighbours. Then you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and play with us! We can show Chance how to poo on the potty chair together! Okay! Over and out!"

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