Chance Learns to Poo

Frankie, Chance and me check out the Fisher Price potty chair. Chance will learn to poo.

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I'm five. I go to the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre on Sandwich Street. That's in Windsor. Windsor is in O Canada. After school I go home. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Grandpa James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful! He takes off his diaper and climbs way high on things and can't get down. I have to say, "My son! Come down from there this instant!" Chance makes little squawky noises 'cuz he's afraid. I have to help him get down.

Bathroom tissue is a good friend!

 Oh. Wait! Frankie lives with us, too! Frankie is our cousin. He's four. We Facebook with Her Majesty. She knighted Frankie. He's the Knight of Knewfoundland and the Lord of Labrador, you know.

Chance won't wear his diaper. He takes it off. Grandpa James says it's time for Chance to learn to poo the potty if he won't wear his diaper. I know how to use the potty. Frankie knows how to poo in  the potty.

Oh, no! Chance! That's not how you sit on the potty chair! Chance is so newborn he doesn't know how to use it!

We all climbed up into the attic. We found my Fisher Price potty chair. I learned how to use it a long time ago when I was a wee little cub. Grandpa James says I didn't like to wear my diaper at all. He says I used to take it off all the time. I don't remember that. Sometimes Grandpa James makes up stories.

I show Chance how to sit on the potty chair.

Did you hear that? Grandpa James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! Grandpa James is hollering, "Where's Frankie? Where's my Knight of Knewfoundland and my Lord of Labrador?" That's Frankie! He's our Knight of Knewfoundland and our Lord of Labrador.

Chance is being silly. He can't poo upside down!

We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Be kind to friends and neighbours. Then you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and play with us! We can show Chance how to poo on the potty chair together! Okay! Over and out!"

Speedy Ca$h

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's forgetful and really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know. I have to help him remember. He went to Canada Post this morning. Canada Post isn't even open on Sundays! Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what? Saturday night Chance and me went to Mackenzie Hall to see S eedy Ca$h. It's a play. I know what a play is. It's a story that is acted out. It's as much fun as reading. I love plays. James says it's theatre.  James is in S eedy Ca$h. He says things that make people laugh. Our buddies Jay and Joey and Aaron and Chris are in the play, too. They make everybody laugh, too. We laughed right out loud! Chance doesn't really laugh 'cuz he's too little. He makes squeaky noises when he's happy. He made a lot of squeaky noises during the play. He took off his diaper and tried to climb on stage. I said, "Come down here this instant, my son!" I had to go get him down. He's a real handful, you know.

After the play we all went to Rock Bottom. I got to sit with Kathryn and Brian. Then I sat between Sarah and Shannon. Mark tickled Chance's ears and made him laugh. We got to sit with Wayne and Rob and Darryl and Chris and Elizabeth. They are all pretty good buddies, you know.

Know what? I got to drink root beer out of my sippy cup with Spiderman on it. Chance got to drink root beer out of his bottle. We l-o-v-e root beer. Good citizens get to drink root beer. It's yummy and yummy is one of the four food groups in the Canada Food Guide. I'm glad we're good citizens.

We got home at midnight! That's really, really late. I never stayed up so late before. James heard our bedtime prayers and tucked us in for the night. I fell asleep before he finished reading our bedtime story 'cuz my eyes wouldn't stay open anymore. I am sure he said, "Good night, my handsome bear cubs. Sweet dreams, my Sons of Windsor. Sleep well, my Princes of Ontario." I am sure he tickled our ears and kissed our noses, too. James always does that.

This is me Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Be nice to people. Smile and laugh when you're at the theatre.  Then you can come to Rock Bottom with us and drink root beer. Over and zzzzzzzzz."

The Golden Rule, Friends & Canada Post

Hi.  This is a picture of my little brother Chance. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy James. He is really forgetful and really really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark. I have to look after him. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing.

Know what? Chance thinks I'm hiding inside the computer! He keeps knocking on the glass and trying to crawl inside the screen! I'm not inside the computer. That just a picture of me on my blog. Chance is too little to know that. It's funny to watch him. I want to laugh right out loud. I know! I will sneak up behind him and holler, "I'm gonna get you!" Won't Chance be surprised? I might scare him. Good thing he's wearing his diaper!

I had porridge with gummy worms for breakfast. Gummy worms are full of Vitamin C. I know what the "C" stands for. It stands for "Charles" and "cub." Chance doesn't have any teeth, you know. He drinks condensed owls' milk out of a bottle. When he's bigger he can eat gummy worms in his porridge, too.

Know what I got from Merry Christmas? I got my own business cards. There's a picture of me on them. I give them to people so they can visit my blog. It's fun to share. I hope you visit and tell both your friends! I l-o-v-e friends. We play with friends and buddies but we don't eat them. Friends aren't in the Canada Food Guide. It's a Golden Rule. I don't know exactly what that means exactly but if you break it-it takes an awful lot of time on the Time Out Chair to fix it. Then you have to be sorry too, and not break it again.

Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where's my handsome bear cubs? where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario?  Who wants to walk to the mail box with me?" I do! Chance does! We want to walk to the mailbox! I know where the mailbox is. It's on the corner of Mill and Sandwich, right in front of Canada Post. That's the big 'ole red brick building with the O Canada flag and the water fountain in front.

I like Canada Post. They got a big picture of Queen Elizabeth on the wall. She watches everyone. We lick her picture and stick it on the envelope and she watches it until it gets to your house. That's a really big job! She must like us a lot to watch all the letters. The nice postie brings us letters and packages. He brings us Smarties, too. Okay. We gotta go! This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, Follow the Golden Rule. Play with your friends but don't eat them. Over and out!"

Hide & Seek is a Fun Game

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy,  James. I have to look after him 'cuz he's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark. He must be 20 years old!  Oh, wait. Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left on our doorstep one morning. He's a wee little thing. I have to look after him, too.

Chance can only drink condensed owls' milk for a bottle. Know why? Cuz he doesn't have any teeth. He can't talk! He makes squeaky noises when he's happy and squawky noises when he's hungry or has poo in his diaper. He's stinky, then. We're playing Hide & Seek. Chance has to hide and I count to 100. I count, "One elephant, two elephants, three elephants..." all the way up to 100. I'm five. I can count real high.

I'm looking for Chance. He's not a good hider. He should be easy to find. I've looked under the bed and in the closet. He's not under the chesterfield. One time Chance hid in the microwave oven. That is not a good place to hide, you know. I'll keep looking until I find him. Then he will be 'it' and I will hide.

Chance never finds me. He has to get James to help him. Know what? I l-o-v-e to play Hide & Seek. It's the funnest game. When I get found, we get to eat Smarties. I always sort them out and eat the red ones last. It's a rule you know. I gotta go find Chance. I bet he's hiding in the dirty clothes hamper. Yeah. I'll look there. Okay. Have fun today. Hope you play Hide & Seek! This is me, Charles, saying 'over and out!'

Picking Up Trash & Potato Salad

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy,  James. He's forgetful and really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark. He must be 20 years old!  I look after him. I'm five, you know. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby I found on our doorstep one morning. He's a wee little thing and I look after him, too.

Look at me! I'm picking up trash and putting it in the bin. That's what good citizens do. Chance and  James help, too. Good citizens get to eat Smarties and wallermelons. They're yummy and that's one of the four food groups in the Canada Food Guide. Then we write about what we did so you can see it, too.

Know what? We had a big storm last night. The wind knocked down trees and smashed up cars. Wow! Know what? We're having potato salad for lunch. My buddy Jay made it. I l-o-v-e potato salad. I know what goes in potato salad--potatoes and salads! I bet I could cook potato salad all by myself. Maybe I could add some Smarties and some apple juice. Yeah. I bet that would taste really yummy!

Chance is too little to eat potato salad. I wonder if he could drink some out of his bottle. Know what? Chance has to wear a diaper cuz he's a newborn cubby. When he poos he makes little squawky noises. That means he's unhappy. When we change his diaper he's really stinky! I don't need a diaper. I know how to use the washroom all by myself. Chance makes squeaky noises when he's happy. I'm gonna go find him and holler, "Who's a handsome bear cub? Where is the Son of Windsor? Where is my Prince of Ontario?" Then I will tickle his ears, kiss his nose and make him laugh right out loud! Okay! This is Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Pick up trash. Good citizens get to eat potato salad. Okay!  Over and out!