Seven Days 'Til Christmas!

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

 Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Santa Claus is sitting on top of our Canadian Tire spruce tree. He's up there so he can see who's naughty and nice. Santa has another name, too. Some people call him Father Christmas. I just have one name. Charles. I can spell it. Look. C-h-a-r-l-e-s. It's the same name in French, too. That's good because I might get mixed up if I had a whole bunch of names. What if Santa got mixed up and gave my presents to somebody else? That would be awful!

Chance just has one name but sometimes I call him 'cubby.' That's his nickname. I call him cubby 'cuz he's an, eensy weensy teeny tiny little bear cub. Newborn baby bears are called cubs. Newborn baby cats are called kittens. Newborn baby dogs are called puppies. Newborn baby houses are called trailer homes, you know.

Know what? We're going to have company! In seven days Merry Christmas comes to our house. We're getting ready for her. She's bringing Santa and Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus and the wise guys who follow the onStar to Windsor and the little drummer boy and the shepherds and the sheep. The sheep have to stay outside on the balcony 'cuz they poo everywhere and don't clean up after themselves. We'll have lots of guests and lots of fun. We can all climb the sugar maple in the back yard and sing Christmas carols and eat Smarties. We get to drink egg nog. That's chicken milk. Chance drinks condensed owls' milk in his bottle. Oh! I can show the baby Jesus my baby pictures!

 Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

 This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Be kind to your friends and neighbours. Then you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Santa will bring you presents. Come over to our house and play with us! We can have fun together. Okay! Over and out!"