Seven Days 'Til Christmas!

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

 Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Santa Claus is sitting on top of our Canadian Tire spruce tree. He's up there so he can see who's naughty and nice. Santa has another name, too. Some people call him Father Christmas. I just have one name. Charles. I can spell it. Look. C-h-a-r-l-e-s. It's the same name in French, too. That's good because I might get mixed up if I had a whole bunch of names. What if Santa got mixed up and gave my presents to somebody else? That would be awful!

Chance just has one name but sometimes I call him 'cubby.' That's his nickname. I call him cubby 'cuz he's an, eensy weensy teeny tiny little bear cub. Newborn baby bears are called cubs. Newborn baby cats are called kittens. Newborn baby dogs are called puppies. Newborn baby houses are called trailer homes, you know.

Know what? We're going to have company! In seven days Merry Christmas comes to our house. We're getting ready for her. She's bringing Santa and Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus and the wise guys who follow the onStar to Windsor and the little drummer boy and the shepherds and the sheep. The sheep have to stay outside on the balcony 'cuz they poo everywhere and don't clean up after themselves. We'll have lots of guests and lots of fun. We can all climb the sugar maple in the back yard and sing Christmas carols and eat Smarties. We get to drink egg nog. That's chicken milk. Chance drinks condensed owls' milk in his bottle. Oh! I can show the baby Jesus my baby pictures!

 Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

 This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Be kind to your friends and neighbours. Then you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Santa will bring you presents. Come over to our house and play with us! We can have fun together. Okay! Over and out!"

Counting

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's old and forgetful. Today he lost his marbles. I found them. They were in the fridge!   I have to look after him. Oh.Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing.

Know what? Chance doesn't have any teeth and he can't talk. He doesn't even have a tail, yet! I have a tail. I'm five, you know. Chance drinks condensed owls' milk out of a bottle. I don't need a bottle. I have a sippy cup with Spiderman on it. I like Spiderman, don't you?

Know what I'm doing? I'm counting up all my money. I keep all my coins in my red Canada Post piggy bank and when it's full we go to Speedy Money and trade all the pennies and nickels and dimes and quarters and loonies and toonies for paper money. Chance tries to help but he's too little to count. Besides, he eats the coins. He ate $4.67 before I could stop him!

James says we'll get the money back, we just have to wait for Chance to have a good poo. He says that there's no danger of Chance being copper deficient. I don't know what that means but I'm not looking through a diaper full of poo. That's nasty! Chance makes little squawky noises when he's hungry or his diaper is full. Then he's stinky and needs a bath. Chance shouldn't eat money! Money isn't a food group and it's not in the Canada Food Guide! When we're done here we're gonna go to Mac's Milk and say 'Hi' to Wendy and Ricky and Ruth and Sam. We can get gummy worms and Smarties. Maybe James will eat some, too. It's okay to eat gummy worms and Smarties. I know how to share 'cuz I'm a good citizen. Gotta go! This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, 'Over and out!'

Getting High

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy,  James. He's old and forgetful. Today he forgot where he put the telephone. I found it. It was in the fridge!   I look after him. Oh. Wait. Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby I found on our doorstep one morning. There was a note that read, "Please look after me." I look after Chance. He's a wee little thing. He can't even talk and he drinks condensed owls' milk from a bottle.

Look at me! I'm way up high in this tree. I'm five. I can climb really high and eat licorice. I can see everything up here! Oh, look! Here comes a bus! I see people, too. Oh, no! Chance is trying to cross Sandwich Street by himself. He's so tiny he might get run over! I'd better get down from here and help him. He could get hurt. It's my job to look after him. I gotta go! I wish I had a superpower. I would fly down there and scoop up Chance. This is me Charles the Bear Cub to the rescue!

Growing Up & Grapes

Hi. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy,  James. Oh. Wait. Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby. I found him in a basket on our doorstep. We're a family. We look after each other.

Chance is a wee little thing. He doesn't have any teeth and he can't even talk but he can sure climb. Chance doesn't feel good today. He's cranky. When he's cranky he makes little squawky noises. Chance is taking a nap.

Know what? I'm outside. I'm five. I know how to play by myself. I'm growing up. Every day I get bigger and stronger cuz I eat my porridge and all the other good foods in the Canada Food Guide--except broccolis. They're nasty. Look! These are baby grapes. They don't taste good now, but when they grow up we can eat them. I l-o-v-e grapes. They're yummy. Chance can't eat grapes but he can drink grape juice from his bottle. I wonder what grapes eat to grow big and strong. If they like Smarties, I can share some with them. I hope Chance feels better when he wakes up from his nap. I want to play with him. We could play Hide & Seek. No. Wait. We can play Spiderman. Yeah. That's what we will do! I'm gonna go wake him up and see if he feels better.

Okay! I gotta go. Eat your porridge and grow up big and strong. Drink grape juice! That makes you a good citizen. This is me, Charles, saying 'over and out!'

Naming Cubby

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's old and forgetful, so I have to look after him. He used to look after me when I was a cubby.

Know what? Someone left a newborn cubby in a basket on our doorstep. I think it was God 'cuz I prayed for a little brother. Cubby is really tiny. He doesn't have any teeth and he doesn't even have a tail! Cubby can't talk. He makes squeaky noises when he's happy and he makes little squawky noises when he's not happy, like when he poos in his diaper.

Every time I asked James if I could have a little brother, he would laugh, tickle my ears, kiss my nose and say, "Fat chance, Charles. You're a handful." Now, James says we can keep cubby. I get to name him. Know what Cubby's name is? It's Chance. Yeah. His name is Chance 'cuz James always said, "Fat chance" when I asked for a brother. Chance means "lucky" in French. We're lucky to have him. Now we're a family of three! There's me, Charles, Chance the cubby and James.

I will be a really good brother and teach Chance everything like how to make peanut butter and licorice sandwiches. I will teach him to eat wallermelons and Smarties. Oh. Wait! We will climb trees and dig holes in the back yard. Know what? I get to feed Chance his breakfast. He drinks condensed owls' milk out of a bottle. I put peanut butter in the bottle, too. I sure hope he likes it! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where's my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario?" That's us, Charles and Chance! We're gonna go find him so he can tickle our ears, kiss our noses and make us laugh right out loud. Well, I'll laugh out loud. Chance will make happy, squeaky noises. This is us, Charles and Chance, saying, 'over and out!"

Hide & Seek with Cubby

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old and forgetful. He forgot where he put his glasses. I had to find them. They were on his head! I watch over him.

Know what? A newborn cubby lives with us, too. I found him on the doorstep. He's just a wee little thing and he looks a lot like I did when I was a baby bear. He doesn't have a name, yet. I hope we can keep him. We would make a good family, the three of us. Cubby is fun to play with when he isn't sleeping. Look at us! We're playing Hide & Seek. Cubby hides and I find him. He's not a very good hider. He thinks if he closes his eyes I can't see him. That's silly. I can see him. I have to teach him how to hide. When I find him, I holler, "Who's a handsome bear cub? Who's a Son of Windsor? Who's a Prince of Ontario?" Cubby makes squeaky noises when I tickle his ears and he laughs right out loud.

When James hollers,"Who are my handsome bear cubs? Are you the Sons of Windsor? Are you my Princes of Ontari?" and we both go running so he can tickle our ears and make us laugh!

We're having porridge for breakfast. I like gummy worms in my porridge. Cubby can't eat porridge--yet. He drinks milk out of a bottle. We have to hold him so he can drink. I don't need a bottle cuz I'm five, you know. I drink my milk out of a sippy cup. Know what? Cubby is so tiny he doesn't even have a tail! He will grow one when he's older. I have a tail now, but I don't have thumbs or pockets. Maybe I'll grow them when I'm older.

When we're in a hurry, James says, "Make it snappy, Charles, two shakes of a lamb's tail." I don't know why he says that. Lambs are dumb and they don't have nice tails like bear cubs. I think he should say, "Two shakes of a bear cub's tail." Yeah.

It's my turn to say grace. Here is what I say before we eat. "Dear God, Thank you for all my friends and buddies. Thank you for cubby. God, you're gonna let us keep cubby, aren't you? I need a little brother. God, if cubby can stay with us I'll eat broccolis even if they are nasty but do I have to eat sauerkrauts?

Cubby can't talk yet so I'm gonna thank you for his bottle of condensed owls' milk. Is it okay to put smooshed up Smarties in his milk? How will he drink the red ones last? Thank you for all the good food in the Canada Food Guide, like porridge and gummy worms. Oh. Wait. Thank you for wallermelons and Smarties and pumpkin pancakes. Oh, thank you for licorice and peanut butter sandwiches, too. Okay, God. My porridge is getting cold. I got to go, now. Amen." Know what? Amen means over and out. That's how God knows I'm done talking. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub. Gotta go!

Me, Charles, and My New Baby Brother!

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. Know what? We got a surprise. I opened the door to get the Windsor Star for James and there was a newborn cubby--in a basket--right on our doorstep! I want to keep him. He could be my little brother. I want a baby brother. I ask God for a baby brother when I say my bedtime prayers. I think God dropped him off at our door.

If we can keep him, I'd be the bestest brother. I'd teach him everything. I'd teach him to eat broccolis--even if they taste nasty--they're in the Canada Food Guide. I'm five. I get to eat Japanese food. I'll teach him to eat Japanese food when he's bigger. Oh. Wait. We have to give him a name if we get to keep him. What do you think we should name him? Okay, I have to go! We're gonna feed Cubby. He's so tiny he drinks condensed owls' milk out of a bottle. I wanna hold him. Did you ever hold a newborn cubby? Bye for now, this is me Charles the Bear Cub, saying 'over and out!'

I Have a New Baby Brother!

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. I live with on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Special Ed James. This morning I opened the door to go outside and get the newspaper and dig some holes in the yard and look what I found! A newborn baby cubby in a basket! I bet God left him on our doorstep! I asked God for a baby brother. Five years ago Special Ed James found me on the doorstep! I took cubby inside and showed him to Special Ed James if we can keep him. He's just a wee little thing. Oh, look! There's a note. It says, "Please take care of cubby. Thank you." Oh. Wow! If Special Ed James says we can keep him I'll teach him to eat Smarties and wallermelons and how to climb real high and ride a bike, too! I will holler, "Who's a handsome cubby?" and tickle his ears until he laughs real loud. Oh! Wow! This is better than Christmas. No. Wait! It's better than my birthday! It's better than Canada Day! Know what? We should have fireworks and cake. Yeah. Okay! I got stuff to do! See you later! This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying 'over and out!'