St. Patrick is Coming To Our House!

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know.

 Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. Chance doesn't have any teeth, yet. He only drinks condensed owls' milk out of his bottle. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful!

Know what I'm doing? I'm balancing a cubcake on my nose! I'm five. I can do things. Chance can't balance a cubcake on his nose 'cuz he's too little. He just licks the icing and gets all sticky.

I know where cubcakes come from. They come from cubcake trees. Cubcake trees grow along the Detroit River, just by our house. James says they only bloom in March. The cubcakes are ripe when they turn green.

James says there's a  cubcake forest in Newfoundland and another one in Ireland, too. I don't know where Ireland is. I think it must be past Toronto. That's pretty far. See! Chance and me are picking cubcakes right off the tree! They're yummy and sticky and sweet. That's three of the four food groups in Canada's Food Guide.

James says if we follow the cubcake trail we will find the end of the rainbow and that's where they keep the the pot o' gold.  He says it's in Ireland. I want to find it! This cubcake trail is pretty long if it goes all the way to Ireland. It might take days to find the end of it. Good thing we won't get hungry, we'll just eat the cubcakes on the trail.

Oh! I forgot to tell you who's coming to our house! St. Patrick is coming to our house! I know who St. Patrick is. He's a missionary. I know what a missionary does, too.

St. Patrick wears green clothes. He tells everyone stories about the newborn baby Jesus and then he scares away all the snakes. That's a very important job. At the Scruffy Maple Day Care Centre Miss Jackie teaches us all about St. Patrick and Ireland.

They got Lucky Charms in Ireland. It's a cereal, kind of like porridge. I like them. They should put gummy worms in Lucky Charms, you know. Sometimes we eat Irish stew.

We're dressed up like St. Patrick. We're wearin' the green. If we don't wear green we'll get pinched. If you don't wear green we can chase you and pinch you! Hurry! Find something green to wear, quick!

 Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed.

 This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Get ready for St. Patrick. Then you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and eat Lucky Charms with us! We can follow the cubcake trail and find the end of the rainbow and the pot o' gold together! Okay! Over and out!"