Thursday, July 22, 2010

The War of 1812

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark, you know. He's so old he remembers the War of 1812. That's really old.

Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing. I look after Chance, too. He's a handful! 

Know what? We're playing Soldier. That's a good game. We're helping General Brock and Tecumseh win the War of 1812 . Chance and me are pretty good soldiers. We don't have muskets like the other soldiers. We have space ray guns we got at the Mill Dollar Store. When we march, we march like this--

Left, left, left, right, left.
Left, left, left, right, left.
Left my wife with fifteen kids,
Gonna find who's right, by jingo!
Right, right, right from the country, right.

Soldiers have a very important job, you know. Our job is to stand on guard for thee. That means we're on the lookout for Americans. They're from the Knighted States. They are our next door neighbours but they came to Canada and they didn't even knock at the door. That's not nice. Good citizens don't invade their neighbours.

When we catch us an American soldier we will make him sit on the Time Out Chair and think about what he did. He won't like thinking. It's hard to think.

Oh. Wait! Did you hear that? James is hollering, "Where are my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario? That's me! Charles! That's Chance! We're handsome bear cubs. We're Sons of Windsor and Princes of Ontario! We gotta go find James so we can get our ears tickled and our noses kissed. 

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Be good citizens. Stand on guard for Canada. Stand on guard for the King and the Empire, too! When you get hungry, you can eat Smarties and drink root beer. Oh! Wait! Come over to our house and play Soldier and War of 1812 with us! We can hunt for American soldiers together! Okay! Over and out!"

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