Thinking about Stuff

Hi! This is me, Charles the Handsome Bear Cub. I live with my buddy, Special Ed James, on Sparkle Road. That's next to Sandwich Street. Know what I'm doing? I'm thinking about stuff. I was eating gummy worms and racing my blue bike up and down the street but now I'm just going to sit right here and think about stuff. It used to be hard to think--especially in my Time Out Chair--but now I'm five and thinking is more fun. Know what? If I think of something I'll tell you, okay? Oh! Wait! Special Ed James is hollering, "Who's a handsome bear cub?" That's me! I'll run find him and he'll tickle my ears. I l-o-v-e it when he tickles my ears. It makes my tail wag. I'm thinking that when someone tickles your ears, your tail wags, too! Okay! Gotta go! Bye for now!

Knocking on Doors

Hi! This is me, Charles the Handsome Bear Cub. I'm at my friends' house. Cassidy the bunny rabbit and Tanner the big 'ole yeller dog live here. They can't hear me knocking. I'm not gonna climb in the window 'cuz that's not nice. Good citizens wait for someone to answer the door. I sure hope they can come out and play. I got Smarties for Tanner and carrots for Cassidy. Bunny rabbits are vegetabletarians. They don't eat meat at all. Oh! I hear someone coming down the stairs! Okay! I gotta go! We're gonna play Hide & Seek. Bet they can't find me! I'm the bestest hider! Honest!
Bye for now!

Cub Reporter at the CBC

Hi! I'm Charles. Usually I'm Charles the Handsome Bear Cub but now I'm a Cub Reporter. That's a good job for a bear, isn't it? I don't know if it is as good as being a librarian. I am on the CBC. Some people think that CBC stands for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation but I will tell you a secret. CBC stands for Charles the Bear Channel. Yeah. I'm gonna bring happy news and weather and sports to my buddies and friends who watch Channel Nine, Cable Ten. Now I will tell you the weather, okay? "It will be dark tonight with patches of sunlight tomorrow. The end." I gotta go now. My buddy Special Ed James wants me to help him take out the trash. He says helping makes me a good citizen. I'm not sure what that means but good citizens get to eat Smarties and wallermelons and brownies from Mary Ann's Bake Shoppe. Bye for now! Oh! Wait! Don't forget to be a good citizen! Brownies and Smarties and wallermelons are yummy!

The Grocery List & Sunlight Soap

Hi. This is me, Charles the Handsome Bear Cub. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Special Ed James. Know what I'm doing? I'm writing down things to buy at Westside Foods. A grocery list is helpful. That way we don't forget anything. We need peanut butter. Gotta get some gummy worms. We're out of Smarties, too. Oh! Wait! We need a wallermelon. I want some licorice. I'd better write down porridge. Special Ed James wrote down broccolis but I crossed them off. Broccolis are yucky. No one should have to eat them. Hmmn. Toothpaste--but we don't eat it--we brush our teeth and spit it out. Toothpaste is not in the Canada Food Guide. We don't eat soap, either, unless I say a bad word. Then I get my mouth washed out with Sunlight. I learned some bad words but I don't say them. Sunlight soap tastes awful! Did you hear that? Special Ed James is hollering, "Who's a handsome bear cub?" That's me! Charles! I gotta go get my ears tickled. I l-o-v-e having my ears tickled. Then we'll jump on our bikes and ride over to Westside Foods. I'll say "Hi!" to Ravan. He owns the store. If I'm a good citizen he might give me a piece of licorice. I l-o-v-e licorice, don't you? Bye for now!

I Can Eat Smarties Anywhere!

Hi! I'm Charles the Bear Cub. Guess what? My buddy, Special Ed James, and me are at the park. I climbed way up here. I can watch the big ships in the river and eat Smarties. The higher I climb the better Smarties taste. Special Ed James says I shouldn't get high on Smarties. I don't know what that means but I bet I will when I'm older. I'll be six on Canada Day. Then I'll know. At the Happy Cub Camp this summer in Quebec I learned the the Smarties song in French--

Quand vous mangez des Smarties,
Gardez-vous les rouges pour le fin?
Les sucez-vous lentement,
Les croquez-vous vivement?
Mangez tous des Smarties,
Mais repondez-moi bien,
Quand vous mangez des Smarties,
Gardez-vous les rouges pour le fin?

Smarties taste real good in French! Oh! Look! Only the red ones are left! Gotta eat the red Smarties now. Okay. Bye!

Lava Lamp

Hi. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Special Ed James. Know what I'm doing? I'm watching the lava lamp. Is it ever fun to watch! The bubbles go up and down. Sometimes I pretend I'm a bubble, riding in the lava lamp. I like to eat Smarties while I watch. Smarties are yummy. I could eat Smarties all day but Special Ed James says I have to eat from all of the food groups in the Canada Food Guide so I can grow big and strong. Okay. I can do that--except for broccolis--I hate them. They're yucky. Special Ed James says to watch out cuz they might put broccoli-flavoured Smarties in the box one day. That would be terrible! How would I know? Oh! I know. They would be green and taste yucky! I'm gonna go outside and ride my bike. Oh! Wait! Maybe I should dig some holes in the back yard and look for worms to give to my cardinal friends who live in the maple tree. Yeah! That's what I'm gonna do! I'm a good citizen cuz I'm helping. Okay. Bye for now!

The Bird Feeder

Hi. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub. I live with my buddy, Special Ed James, on Sparkle Road right off Sandwich Street. Look at me! I'm way high in the maple tree. This is a bird feeder. The cardinals eat here. Cardinals don't shop at Westside Foods and they don't eat shawarma at Big Pita. Cardinals don't have pockets and money is too heavy for them to fly with. Cardinals eat bird seeds. I'm going to feed them peanut butter and Smarties and licorice. I bet the cardinals will l-o-v-e to eat it all up! They're yummy and sticky and that's two of the four food groups in the Canada Food Guide. We're going to Mary Ann's Bake Shoppe for breakfast. I sure hope she has pancakes and wallermellons. I l-o-v-e pancakes and wallermellons. I will eat them all up cuz I'm a growing bear cub. I'm five now, you know. My birthday was on Canada Day. Next year I'll be six. Then I'll be real old! Wow! Oh! Wait! Special Ed James is hollering, "Who's a handsome bear cub!" That's me! I'm a handsome bear cub. I'll run and find him so he can tickle my ears and laugh real hard. I love having my ears tickled. I sure hope someone tickles your ears! Gotta go! Bye for now!

Bear Cub Camp Report

Hi! I'm Charles the Handsome Bear Cub. Look at me! I can speak French! Bonjour! Je suis Charles, le beau gros toutou. That's French for Hi! I'm Charles the Handsome Bear Cub. You already knew that, didn't you? Cub Camp was tres fun. My friend Red got stung by hornets. Hornets are not our friends. Red looked neat all swelled up. Our canoe sank in the lake. They can't find it. My friend Beau got bitten by a snake. The ambulance has a real loud siren. My friend Cubby set our tent on fire. It was an accident but don't try to roast marshmallows in your tent, okay? I won the wallermelon eating contest. Guess who can run the fastest? Me. That's because I wear Cat-in-the-Hat sox. They help me win. I made a plaster paw print in crafts class. I'm giving it to my buddy, Special Ed James. I think Special Ed James missed me. He sure gets into a lot of trouble when I'm not here to watch over him. Oh. Wait! He's calling, "Who's a handsome bear cub?" Can you hear him? "Who's a handsome bear cub?" C'est moi! Gotta go get my ears tickled. Guess what! It's nice to be home. I love having my ears tickled, don't you? I sure hope we're having porridge for breakfast. I want gummy worms in my porridge. Bye! Salut!

Travelling Day

Hi. This is me, Charles the Bear Cub. Look! I can almost fit in my suitcase! I used to hide in here and my buddy, Special Ed James, couldn't find me but I'm a growing bear cub. I don't fit in the suitcase any more. Guess what! I'm going to the Happy Cub Camp today. I'm all packed. I got Smarties and licorice and peanut butter and my Ninja toothbrush and my Cat-in-the-Hat sox. I brought sunscreen, too. Special Ed James is almost ready but he can't find his teeth. He's a slowpoke sometimes. I'll help him find his teeth then we can go get in the car. I can't wait to get to the Happy Cub Camp. It's far away, in Quebec. I don't know where that is but the bear cubs speak French there. When I come home I will tell you all about camp. Salut!

Hanging Out at Big Pita

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. Look at me. I love to climb. I climbed way up here on top of the sign at Big Pita. That's on Sandwich Street. The nice people make yummy food. We get shawarma. I l-o-v-e shawarma with garlic sauce. I get chocolate milk, too. Guess what? We're going to Happy Cub Camp. That is in Quebec. It is way far away. It's farther than Toronto but not as far as the moon. I wonder if VIA Rail goes to the moon? Bear cubs speak French in Quebec. I can already say, "Bonjour!" and "veut tu partager une boite de Smarties?" I'm putting lots and lots of Smarties in my suitcase cuz I don't know if they have Smarties there. Oh! Wait! I better put some peanut butter in there, too. Special Ed James is hollering, "Who's a handsome bear cub?" That's me! Charles. Gotta go get my ears tickled. I l-o-v-e having my ears tickled, don't you? Then I have to help him pack his suitcase. Last time he forgot his toothbrush and I had to share my Ninja toothbrush with him. Okay! Bye for now!

Bedtime Prayer

Hi God, this is me, Charles the Bear Cub, you know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy Special Ed James. I just brushed my teeth with my Ninja toothbrush and I'm ready for bed so I just want to thank you for yummy breakfast at Mary Ann's Bake Shoppe this morning. Pumpkin pancakes are the bestest! It's fun to eat with Frank and Terry. Thank you for the sunny day. I was busy. I rode my bike up and down Sandwich Street, dug some big holes in the back yard and climbed trees. Please bless all the little bear cubs and my buddies and my friends--especially Tanner. He's the big 'ole yeller dog who lives with Cassidy the bunny. Remember Tanner? He's my bestest friend. He got cancer and you sent him some pills to make him feel better. Special Ed James says he might die. God, where does Tanner go if he dies? I sure hope you can tell me. You know a lot of stuff-even more than Special Ed James. Well, I'm getting pretty sleepy, God. I'm gonna go to bed. Oh! Wait! Thank you for Smarties and gummy worms. Oh! Thank you for the cardinals that live in my back yard, and my library books and wallermelons and my Cat-in-the-Hat sox. I'm gonna wear my sox to bed 'cuz they're sleepy, too. Okay, God. That's it. I love you. Bye for now! Oh! Wait! I forgot to say Amen. When I say 'amen' it means 'over and out.' Copy that, God. Nighty-night!

My Trip to the Library

This is me, Charles the handsome Bear Cub. I'm at the Sandwich Towne Library. The library is one of my favouritest places. It is full of books and videos. I l-o-v-e to see what's on the shelves, don't you? The librarians are very nice. We use our inside voices at the library. I sure hope my buddy, Special Ed James, doesn't whisper, "Who's a handsome bear cub?" cuz I would run right over to get my ears tickled then I would laugh really loud. I am sure we aren't supposed to laugh really loud in the library but I don't know what an inside laugh sounds like. Maybe the librarian can tell me. Special Ed James talks funny. He says 'libery.' He can't say 'library' but that's okay. That's why he rides to school on the short bus and I go with him to look after him. See! I have my own library card and I'm checking out two books. Maybe when I grow up I'll be a librarian. Yeah. That sounds like a fun way to spend the day. I can say, "Shhhhh!" and "May I help you?" already. I'd be a good librarian. Okay. I gotta go, now. I got books to read. Oh, wait! When I'm done I have to bring the books back. I don't get to keep them. It's called "borrowing." That's different from stealing. Bye!

Breakfast at the Rock Bottom Bar & Grill

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub. I'm at Rock Bottom with my buddies Special Ed James and Ryan. Rock Bottom is on Sandwich Street. That's not very far from our house on Sparkle Road. We're having breakfast but it's not porridge with gummy worms. I'm eating sausages and hash brown potatoes and scrambled eggs and toasts with peanut butter on them. I put ketchup on everything. I l-o-v-e ketchup. Ketchup is my friend. Special Ed James says, "Charles, mind your manners and don't wolf your food down." Now you know why he rides the short bus to school. I'm not a wolf, I'm a bear cub. A handsome bear cub, too. Oh, wait! The nice lady put some wallermelon on my plate, too! I will eat the wallermelon first but I won't put ketchup on it. Wallermelon is yummy. Yummy is one of the four good groups in the Canada Food Guide. Peanut butter is sticky. That's another food group. Okay. I'm gonna eat. I'm as hungry as a bear. Oh, wait! I am a bear. I'm Charles the handsome bear cub. Gotta go! Bye!

Canada Geese

I'm Charles the handsome bear cub. Me and my buddy, Special Ed James, like to play along the Detroit River. See the baby geese? Baby geese are called goslings, just like baby bears are called cubs. They are looking for their lunch in the water. They eat fish. I like fish, too. Fish are yummy. I like fish with tartar sauce. I wonder if geese put tartar sauce on their fish. I know! I'll ask them! If they don't have any we can all go to Westside Foods and buy some! Maybe we will eat lunch together. Oh, wait! Special Ed James is hollering, "Who's a handsome bear cub?" That's me, Charles. I'm gonna run over to him so he can tickle my ears. I l-0-v-e it when I get my ears tickled, don't you? Bye!

Kraft Dinner

Look at me! This is Charles the handsome Bear Cub. Me and my buddy Special Ed James are shopping at Westside Foods. We got KD! I l-o-v-e KD. It's yummy and that's my favouritest food group in the Canada Food Guide. I get to help make it. I'm in charge of stirring. Special Ed James says I'm the Minister of Stirring. This is how we do it. We put on our aprons and oven mitts and oven boots and oven helmets, too. We make the water hot in a pot on the stove and then put the macaronis in the pot and when it's done we add the packet of cheese. Then we add some hot dogs and it's ready to eat. Oh! Wait! Special Ed James is hollering, "Who's a handsome bear cub?" That's me! I'm gonna get my ears tickled. I l-o-v-e getting my ears tickled. Don't you? Gotta go, now. Bye! Oh! Wait! Why don't you come to our house on Sparkle Road and eat KD with us? I'll set a place for you at the table and you can sit right next to me! Bye!

Wash Me Clean

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub, in the Inglis. I'm not hiding. I asked God to meet me in the laundry room. I want God to add water and wash me clean, like people who go down in the water at church. See, I stole gummy worms and I'm really sorry, God. I brought my purple bubble bath soap, God. Oh. Wait! I took a loonie and two quarters out of my piggy bank, so you don't have to pay anything God, but is it okay if I laugh during the spin cycle? Thank you, God. This is over and out from me, Charles the handsome Bear Cub, the one who lives on Sparkle Road with his buddy, Special Ed James.

Backyard Safari

This is me, Charles the Bear Cub. Know what I'm doing? I'm hiding in the cedar hedge cuz I'm I'm on a lion hunt. Yeah. I'm on a safari. I stay real quiet and watch for lions. When one comes into the back yard, I'll holler real loud--

Goin' on a lion hunt
One, two, three!
Goin' on a lion hunt
Can't catch me!

When I catch one, we'll go over to Mac's Milk and get some gummy worms. I will pay for them. I don't want to go back to the police station. I'm a good citizen! Okay. Gotta go, a lion might be coming any time. Bye!

Busted!

This is me, Charles the bear cub. I did a bad thing. I was a bad citizen. I took some gummy worms and didn't pay for them. That is called stealing. Gummy worms aren't free like mulberries. A constable took me to the police station. I was paw printed and had a mug shot taken. I feel bad. I'm sorry. I won't steal anything ever again. I want to be a good citizen. Good citizens get gummy worms and wallermelons. Good citizens get to play Space Invaders and drink root beer. I sure wish I was sitting on my Time Out Chair instead of being in jail. Jail is not a good place for bear cubs. It's for criminals. Oh, wait! I'm a criminal. Now I have to wait for my buddy, Special Ed James, to come and spring me from the joint. Do you think he will holler, "Who's a handsome bear cub?" and tickle my ears and make me laugh? I sure hope so. This is me, Charles, the saddest bear cub in all of Maple Centre.

Mulberry Time

Hi! Look up here! I'm Charles the bear cub. I'm five, you know. I'm way up here in a mulberry tree. I l-o-v-e mulberries. They are yummy. Yummy is one of the four food groups in the Canada Food Guide. Guess what? If I plant a mulberry seed I will get a mulberry tree. I know where birds come from. They come from bird seed. Plant some bird seed and they will grow into trees with birds in them. Oh! Wait! If I plant some Smarties and some gummy worms and some red licorice they will grow into trees, won't they? Sure they will! I gotta get down from here and go plant some stuff in the back yard. I wonder how big the holes have to be. I'll dig really big, deep ones. Okay! This is me, Charles, the handsome bear cub who lives on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Special Ed James. Bye for now!

Fun in the Sun

I'm Charles the bear cub. Bears don't need clothes. We can go outside bare naked. That's a pun. I like sox. I don't need them but I wear them for fun. I have Cat-in-the-Hat sox. I got them for my birthday from Tanner and Cassidy. I'm five, you know. I can stretch out and watch boats go up and down the river. So do the geese. They are swimming. I like to come down to the river and play. So does my buddy, Special Ed James. I gotta go now. I'm going to feed the geese. Hope they like Smarties! Bye for now!

My First Visit to the Bank

Hi. I'm Charles. I'm a handsome bear cub. Guess what? I'm five, now. I got money for my birthday. My buddy, Special Ed James, took me to the bank. I put the money in the bank. He says we'll save it so I can go to university one day. Wow! I'll be really old then! I want to go to the University of Albearta. That sounds like a good place for bear cubs like me. I wonder where Albearta is? I hope we can go there on the train. I love the train. Okay! I gotta go. I gotta climb some trees. Oh! Wait! I have to get some Smarties and gummy worms to eat in the tree. I sure wish bears came with pockets. I'd fill them up with Smarties and gummy worms. Bye for now!

My Birthday Report by Charles

This is me. Charles the birthday bear cub, the one that lives on Sparkle Road. My birthday was on Canada Day. I'm five, now. That's older than four. I had fun on my birthday. I l-o-v-e chocolate cake with Smarties on top and chocolate ice cream on top of that! See the balloons? I got presents like bubble soap for the bathtub, a flashlight, a book about firetrucks, Spiderman stickers and a box to keep my treasures in. I got Cat-in-the-Hat Sox, too! Oh, wait. The bestest present of all was God making my friend Tanner well. Tanner has cancer. Tanner had surgery and he's feeling better. He's a big 'ole yeller dog. Thank you God for fixing him. I sure got a lot of presents, eh. I'm a lucky bear cub. I live with Special Ed James. He's a good buddy. Gotta go, now. I gotta go outside and ride my bike. Bikes need exercise, you know. Okay! Bye.

Publish Post

Happy Birthday to Me & Canada, Too!

Ooooh! Today is my birthday. I'm Charles the handsome bear cub. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, Special Ed James. I'm five, now. Five is older than four. Happy birthday to me! Oh! Wait! It's Canada's birthday, too. Canada is 142 years old. That's too many for me to count but it's really, really old. We watched the Canada Day parade and ate red and white cupcakes. Yummy! We had breakfast with Ryan. Ryan is smart. He is a writer. We went to Cassidy and Tanner's house. They're my friends. Cassidy is a bunny rabbit and Tanner is a big 'ole yeller dog. Tanner has cancer. He got an operation. He's got lots of stitches. I touched them. He says it doesn't hurt. Tanner has some meds and feels pretty good. I wanted thumbs for my birthday but then I changed my mind. I asked God to make Tanner feel good. Thank you God. I'm glad you got my letter. I'm glad Tanner feels good. We ate sloppy Joes for lunch. Special Ed James calls them Untidy Josephs. They have two names, like people. Except Cher. Sloppy Joes are yummy. Cassidy ate carrots cuz bunnies are vegetabletarians. Guess what Cassidy and Tanner gave me for my birthday? Can you guess? Look at my feet! I got Cat-in-the-Hat sox! They're red and white. I l-o-v-e sox. Even though bear cubs don't need clothes--cuz we get to run around bear naked--sox are lots and lots of fun to wear.

I'm an Internet Poem Star, you know. This is my poem about sox.

I like sox
Upon my feet,
They keep me warm,
I think they're neat!
THE END.

Special Ed James took me to the shelter downtown. We helped serve lunch. People go to the shelter cuz they're hungry and don't have food at home.The people I saw at the shelter don't get gummy worms in their porridge. They don't even get porridge! I felt sad for them. I learned something today. I am sure glad I have a nice home and our cupboards are full of lots of good food. Except broccolis. Nobody should have to eat them. They're yucky. That's one of the four food groups in the Canada Food Guide. We rode home on one of the new hybrid buses. They smell new inside. My sox are new. They smell new, too!

I will tell you more about my birthday tomorrow. Right now I'm really sleepy and so are my sox. We need a nap. Oh! I'm gonna nap with my sox on. Okay. Gotta go. Bye for now!