Happy Birthday to Earth!

Hi. I'm Charles the Bear Cub. You know me. I live on Sparkle Road with my buddy, James. He forgets where he left his cane. He's really old. He was the second Canadian to get off Noah's Ark!   I have to look after him. Oh. Wait! Chance lives with us, too. He's a newborn cubby someone left in a basket on our doorstep. He's a wee little thing.

Know what? Today is Happy New Year! It's a holiday. I know what holidays are. Those are the days where we get to dig holes in the backyard, climb the big maple tree and eat Smarties. Oh! Wait! That's every day. Okay. I know! On holidays we get to see our buddies and friends, go to parades and eat devilled eggs and pineapple licorice. I know something else about Happy New Year! It's happy birthday for Earth. We live on earth.  James showed us a picture. He says this is the year 2010 and that is the year of the Tiger. I like tigers. Maybe Chance and I can hunt for tigers with our space ray guns we got at the Dollar Store. Know what? 2010, that's really old! I can't count that far, yet. I will when I'm older. My birthday is on Canada Day and we will eat wallermelons and watch fireworks and eat more wallermelons.

We're shopping at Westside Foods. It's a block from our house. We're not allowed to go there by ourselves 'cuz we have to cross Sandwich Street. We could get hurt 'cuz cars go fast and cars are lots bigger than bear cubs. Westside Food is where we get groceries. Chance and me l-o-v-e to ride in the buggy. We can go real fast and I make siren noises, like a firetruck. Chance wants Rice Krispies. He's too little to eat them. He doesn't have any teeth, yet. He's so little he can't even count to ten. He likes the noises Rice Krispies make. I know the names of the Rice Krispies brothers, do you? Their names are Snap, Crackle and Pop. I know their names in French, too! Cric, Crac et Croche! Chance surprised me by hiding in the freezer. He makes me laugh right out loud. He's a handful. I say, "Come out of their right now, my son, before you catch your death of pneumonia!"

James is ready to check out. He's hollering, "Where's my handsome bear cubs? Where are my Sons of Windsor? Where are my Princes of Ontario?" That us! Charles and Chance. We're handsome bear cubs! I'm a Son of Windsor! I'm a Prince of Ontario! So is Chance! "Hurry, Chance! Come out of that freezer, my son!" We're gonna run over to James so he can tickle our ears and kiss our noses and hug us.

"Happy New Year, good citizens! Oh! Wait! I almost forgot. Peace on Earth. I don't know what that means exactly but I think it means our soldier boys and girls can come home and they won't get hurt anymore in Bananastan. No one should fight, you know. That's bad behaviour. If I was Prime Minister I would make that bad Mr. Tally Bands sit on the Time Out Chair. He would have to think about what he did. He wouldn't like it much. Thinking is hard work. I know! This is me, Charles the Bear Cub saying, "Over and out!"